Thursday, May 5, 2011

To my dear friend...

First of all, I wanted to say thank you. You have always been there for me and I'd trust you with my life. The reason behind this letter is, well.. because I finally know the answer to the question that you have asked me over and over again. And the answer is, because it suits me. Ive been thinking about all the things that we have talked about as of late, and everything you have said to me has really sank into my soul. Your words affect me, and that's because I respect you.

It is completely obvious that you and I are 2 completely different people. I'm sure that there has even been a few who have asked why we are friends to begin with. But something tells me that if we sat them down and explained it a thorough as we could, there would still be some that don't understand. But honestly, I don't care. I know why we are friends. It's because, even though we may have a hard time communicating via words, our guts get it.

There is something about being your friend that makes me feel like a better person. I guess it's because I look up to you in a way and it makes me strive to actually become that better version of myself. Not many people in my life have that affect on me. I only hope that I have that affect on you sometimes. What makes me cherish this friendship so much is the fact that, while we are so different, we both have each others very best well being in mind. But being different also means that we sometimes look at things differently. And that's a wonderful thing.

You know me. You know that I am a person who is constantly looking for her next greatest love. And in that search, I have often times been hurt. I know that as my friend, you hate to see me when I'm down. You have asked me multiple times why I invest so much into finding love when I already have so many people in my life who love me. I have my friends. You tell me that no one makes me light up the way a boy can, and as my friend, you cant understand why I don't lean on you more. I should know that with my friends, I never have to worry about having my heart broken. You ask me why don't I chose you... my friend.

I need you to know that I already have. I realize that I have some of the best friends that a person can hope for. I know how lucky I am and I thank the universe daily for bringing you into my life. Friends like you are not easy to come by. And for some people, that's enough. But you know me, I want more. I already have my best friends, and you will be one of them for the rest of my life. You are my sister. But at the end of the day, I want a family. Not the kind we have, but a family of my own.

I want to get married. I want to have babies. This is something that I am sure of and have been for a very long time. For others, they are career driven, but I am a family girl down to the core of me. It suits me. This does not mean that I don't care about my career. I absolutely do. But for me, it's about a balance. That is what I need to be truly happy and I see nothing wrong with being honest about it. So yes. I will keep my heart open until I find the person who will go down this journey with me. And I hope that I have your support. Because when I look into the future of my life, you are there. And that makes me smile.

You said that no one can make me light up the way a boy can, but that's not true. I'm sure there will come a day when my future husband is saying the same thing about my friends. You guys have brightened my world. You are a light. What I think you are seeing is my hope that soon my world might be complete. And when you see that fade, its hard. It's hard to see anyone you care about be let down. But it's part of the journey. You have to be open for love. I know its a risk, but the reward it worth it. My friends are top knotch so I'm not settling for a 2nd rate romance.

When It comes to love, I am the eternal optimist,
and I honestly would not want it any other way.

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